Reconnect

These past few weeks leading up to today has shown me a lot. Lots of family time. It’s what I’ve been missing and what I really need. I guess it’s due to not having my older siblings with me anymore. My older brother is in Washington, with a wife, and two kids. My older sister is in Colorado, with a husband, and two kids. I’m here with my parents. They were the driving force of helping me with family dues and etiquette. Ever since they’ve been gone, I’ve been alone and off to my own world. I was closer to my friends than I was to my own parents, even my older siblings. My parents are old and they don’t want to go out. Only for groceries, gas, doctor appointments, and sometime events with my relatives. 

My cousin, who is younger than me by 2 years, talked with her mom to surprise my mom with a birthday cake since they will be back home before my mom’s birthday. They wanted to do it since they’re here now. Now this is going along with my culture and traditions. Back then, no one really lived very long. So each decade, they celebrate it. My cousin taught me this phrase to say to my mom. I still can’t say it without pausing. I’m gonna write it the way I write it so I can pronounce it.

Hok joo dung hai.
Seew be num shua.

I might need Mary or Henry to help explain it. Something as wide as the ocean. Something as high as the mountains.

She taught me this since morning so I can say it at night to my mom. We went to 99 Ranch Market Plaza so we can order a cake and have it be ready. My aunt would distract my parents by going to the video store until we were done. We went to Walmart so we can get soda and candles. We had to hide the candles so my cousin and I went to another cashier line and my mom almost caught us. I pocketed the candles quick while we got change back. The lady in front of us lagged so bad. My mom asked what we bought and we said that we bought candy. We then went home to prepare dinner. It was hot pot and chinese style shabu shabu. I had to move my car outside so I can pick up the cake later. My parents asked what am I doing and if I was going out later. I said yes and that I needed to sell a car part to someone at 8:30. We ate, we finished, and we left. My cousin’s excuse was that she was full and wanted to go with me to get some air. 

We got the cake and came back. I was practicing the phrase and was horrible at remembering. My cousin said it like it was easy peasy. My aunt would tell my mom to take a shower and she would obliged. We then got the cake ready. My mom finished and told my aunt to take a shower but she would lag it on purpose. Right then, my sister called so they talked. I was holding the cake and waiting. This could take awhile. Then we decided to hide in my room instead of near the back door. We already set up the table when my mom was in the shower. My dad wasn’t in it but he was puzzled about our actions. 

I lit the candles and walked slowly into the living room. My aunt pretended to not know how to work the last lamp in the room. She succeeded and the room was dark except the candles. Sang “Happy Birthday” in chinese and I said the phrase. I forgot the last two words. D’oh! My cousin helped me. Then she said it. My mom was very happy. We then had cake and explained ourselves.

Oh yeh, my cousin slowly worked on my mom through out the day. Fixing my mom’s hair and painting her nails. My mom had no idea. She did find some things odd but didn’t think much of it. 

I had surprised my parents’ on their birthdays with cake but not in the dark like this. I couldn’t anyways, by myself. I just made it where they didn’t noticed I brought the cake inside. 

While we were at the market, I had a little talk with my cousin. She was teaching me the phrase. After a few tries, I stood there and then I smiled. She asked what I was looking at. I said, “I’m not looking at anything in particular, I just thought of something and that’s why I smiled.” She asked what I was thinking about. I said that she, “knows how to be a child, how to make your parents proud, and I don’t.” She asked why. I answered, “I’ve thought of it a few times but I think I just don’t want to believe it.” I’ll just stop right here. 

I need to learn my language and culture more. I need to spend time with my parents more. I’m the only one left to take care of them.